Insomnia

I cannot see you when I speak
or hear you when my eyes are open

Is it something I always sensed?

Your dolls close their eyes as you put them sleep,
Sinking into automatic darkness
But it's the blindness of my eyes that makes me see,
Forcing a sudden awareness

My heart starts to open
My soul starts to bleed

They both long for your wise innocence

If I listen close enough, I can hear it.
The empty melody of my own words
- are they yours? -
tries to shine a light.
But I fail to fully comprehend. And I fall.
I'm lost.
Nothing can change this
I'm lost and I'm crying
I'm lost and you're nothing
Yes, nothing can change this

I only see you when I'm half asleep
or feel you when my heart is broken

Though I never asked for this,
Here you come again
And again
And again

A neurosis, feeding on itself